Sunday 12 May 2013

NoN-VeG JoKeS !! UNLIMITED !! 2


Santa ka padosi Sardaar ek din us se bola..
Sardaar- "Tera birthday kab hai?"
Santa- "Agle Hafte kyu"?

Sardaar- "Tujhe Parde Gift karne hai, teri wife ko tere saath sex karte hue dekh kar bore ho gya hun main"

Santa kuch soch ke bola:
"Tera birthday kab hai"?

Sardaar- "Agle mahine kyu?"

Santa- "Tujhe Durbeen gift karni hai taki tu ye dekh sake ki wife kiski hai."

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Rajnikant ne Vidya Balan Ko cycle pe aage bithaya

Vidya-Rajni mujhe dekh Ke Apka khada nhi hota?

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Rajnknt-Pagli Ye Ladies cycle Hai.Pata Hai tu kis Pe baiti hai???:-P


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New Joke - Jawan: Sir, mujhe chhutti chahiye.

Major: Kya kaam hain?

Jawan: Biwi ki yaad aa rahi hain.

Major: Saaf kaho na, s** karna hain! Jaao, samne wali plywood me jo hole hain, waha apna kaam karlo.
Jawan ne aisa kiya, bahot maza aya.

Major: Ab batao, chhutti par jana hain?

Jawan: Nahi sir, bas, kaam ho gaya.

Major: Shabash! Ab plywood ke pechhe se dusre jawan ko nikalo aur tum jhuk kar Murga ban jaao. kuch aur jawan chhutti mang rahe hain.....

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Imagine if all these companies start selling condoms, they won't even have to change their tag line:-
??

Pepsodent Condom- Raat bhar dishum dishum.
?
Colgate Condom- Ye hai hamara suraksha chakra.
?
Nokia Condom- Connecting people.
?
MRF Condom- Extra Rubber, Extra Mileage.
??
Moov Condom- Ah se Aha tak.
??
Mirinda Condom- Zor ka jhatka dhire se lage.
?
Godrej Hair Dye Condom- Kato, kholo or lagao.
?
Sprite Condom-
Bujaye only Pyas baki all bakwas.
?
Tata Sky Condom- Isko laga dala,toh life jhingalala..
??
? thumb's up condom-aj kuch tufani krte h
The best one...

M seal condom - ek tapakti boond aapki kismat badal sakti hai!?=D=))>=):p

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Ek Ladka Ek Ciment Factory Me Kaam Karta Tha,
Uska Baap Bola:
Ghar Banwana Hai 25 Bore Ciment La De..!
Ladka- Nahi, Main Bahut Imandar Hu..!
Baap- 15 La De..!
Ladka- Nahi Meri Kuch Image Hai..!
Baap- 5 La De..!
Ladka- Nahi..!
Baap- 1 La De..!
Ladka- Nahi..!
Baap- Theek Hai To Ek Mutthi La De..!
Ladka- Ek Mutthi Ka Kya Karoge..!
Baap- Teri Ma Ke hole Par Lagaunga
Taaki Koi Dusra Imandar Paida Na Ho..!

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2 men in a wedding function:
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1st:" Lo..!! kuch din phle hi godi me
kheli thi or aaj iski shadi hai
.
.
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2nd:" Aap dulhan k baap ho.. ??
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1st:" Nahi, dulhan ka BOSS...

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Girl:
Mai hu ladki jheel ki,
chut meri steel ki,
chod sake na hathi ghode,
tu kya chodega maa ke lode...?
Boy:
Naam hai mera Pappan Pillo,
Lund ka wajan chhappan kilo,
Zameen par maru toh kuwa khud jaye..
Tu to kya teri Maa bhi chud jaye..

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RED LIGHT area me raid padi.

Police ne sabhi callgirls ko line me khada kiya.

Wahan se gujar rahi Budhiya ne ek girl se puchha: kya hua??

Callgirl ne kaha: Amma, Aam bat rahe hai!!

Budhiya bhi line me lag gai.

Jab Budhi ki bari ayi to Policeman ne kaha-Amma!Aap bhi??

Amma boli-
"bujurg hu to kya??
Choos to sakti hoon"

Enjoy summer wid mangoes :D

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